"Astound me, Father."

Have you guys ever found a particular phrase that has made it's way into every aspect of your life?
Yeah, me too.

"Astound me, Father."
"Astound me, Father."
"Astound me, Father."

These three simple words have made their way into my every day. Here is what I've learned. 

Astound. The definition of astound simply means to "shock or greatly surprise." 

I wanted to be "shocked" and "greatly surprised" by the Gospel. What's so wrong with that?

When I first started praying this, I couldn't help but think, "Well done, Nerissa." As in, I had finally reached this moment with Jesus where I had won: I had prayed something He couldn't get out of answering! If Jesus is who He says He is and if His glory causes Paul to simply say, "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!" (Rom. 11:33) then surely, He can't withhold it should I ask.

And I asked. 

And I asked again and again

and again and again. 

He did answer, (eventually)! 

I've been going through the book of Acts (btw, my favorite book; read it again and again) and have been taken aback at how many times people are "astounded" by who Jesus is, even in the first few chapters.

Here are a few: 

"...they were bewildered." (2:6)

"...they were amazed and astonished." (2:7)

"...they were all amazed and perplexed." (2:12)

"...they were filled with wonder and amazement." (3:10)

"...all the people [were] utterly astounded." (3:11)

You get the point. Their socks were knocked off. 

As I have been reading and rereading these verses, I find myself being frustrated. 

I'm frustrated that our Church today (and by Church, I mean the Body as a whole) looks so vastly different. 

I'm frustrated that my life looks so vastly different.
I'm frustrated that the very ones who crucified Jesus were being amazed without even asking! 

Are you following my emotion right now? 

I have been asking Jesus, whom I love, to astound me for weeks and these religious pharisees are the ones who were astounded by Him. His Gospel has the power to astonish even the worst of all sinners. (clarification: I know I am, in fact, a religious pharisee and the WORST sinner. However, in this context, I'm talking about who they actually were historically) 

So why isn't it connecting?

Well, hallelujah, He has truly answered me (by the way, His patience alone is enough to astound me).

The Holy Spirit illuminated the answer in Acts 3:14 //

"But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murder to be granted to you." 

I realize, this seem's way off. But follow me.

I read this verse and resonate with every word that Peter is speaking because I know that I do that! 

I trade in the greatest gift known to man for fleeting pleasures.
I turn my face away from the Holy and Righteous One so I can glance at death.

I do what Peter just said. Because of that, grace is a hard pill to swallow.
However, I learned that to be astounded you must walk in grace.

Seem simple? It's not. 

Because I know that verse 14 is true of me, rather than walking in the breathtaking life offered through the Gospel, I often choose to stay put in verse 14. Instead of living in the resurrection of Jesus, I keep Him in death 

(which, obviously, is just dumb. Sanctification, you know? He really is patient as I work out my salvation!).

Often times, I live as though He is still on the Cross. I sit at the Cross and I say, "Father, astound me."
Yet, I miss the answer because I'm not willing to lift my head up and see that He's no longer dead.

He is alive.
If there was no resurrection, if Jesus was still on the Cross, there would be nothing to be astonished by.
The bewildering, amazing, astonishing, perplexing, wonderful, and astounding Truth is found in the empty tomb.

Stay with me, because this is life altering. 

In these first couple chapters of Acts, the people were constantly amazed by Jesus.

Why? 

Because these people were hearing proclaimed "Jesus the resurrection from the dead." (4:2) 

The Cross of Christ displayed His mercy.
The resurrection of Christ displays His grace.

The resurrection is grace, and that is absolutely astounding. 

My answer to, "Astound me, Father," came in the form of the Gospel of grace.

What is the key to being astounded by the Father?
Take a look at the Gospel.
Lift your head up and see Jesus no longer upon the Cross, and receive His mercy.
Lift your head up and see Jesus no longer in the tomb, and receive His grace.

His grace is astounding. 

You don't have to work.
You don't have to earn. 

You don't have to do anything. 

He is present.
He is alive.
He is astounding. 

Sometimes, you just have to be reminded:

Walk in the resurrection.
Walk in grace and be astounded.