Batter My Heart

I'm writing a paper on a poem from John Donne and I couldn't help but stop and be taken aback by the desperation in the words.
It's so heavy, but so real.

This is the life of a Christian.
This is emptying yourself for the sake of Christ.

It's a great poem.
Let it sink in.


     Batter my heart, three-personed God, for You

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to another due,

Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Amen. 

It's never too much.

Coming into this week, I literally didn't think I would make it.

I figured I'd give it a day or two before I would give up and just barely make it through.
However, I learned a lot this week. 



Here I am; I survived.
After virtually no sleep and a plethora of assignments and tests that would more or less define my grade, I'm still here.


And let me tell you, not only did I survive.. but I thrived. 
Why? 


Because this week I learned about the power of prayer.
I learned, first hand, that a God who created the whole universe and know the number of sand on the seashore still cares deeply about little old me.
Though, in the grand scheme of things, my desire to pass all my assignments may seem really little.. in the eyes of Christ, they are His first priority. 


I learned that if you bring Jesus, His Word, along side of you.. there is no other choice but to thrive. 


It's ironic to me how during times like this, we completely push Christ away and say we have no time. 
We push Him to the side so we can get a few more hours of studying in.

Who do you think gave you the ability for retention anyways?

We should be craving His word!
Times like this is when Christ is ready to be active in your life.
He's ready to show you His power and faithfulness, we just choose to not have time for it.

Luke 12 says, "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

We are worth more than many sparrows. 
How could we not believe He would flip our lives upside down in a week like this?


He is Christ. 
He lived and died for times like this. 

He is our strength. 
Don't be discouraged, we can accomplish everything through the power of the Cross. 

Incomprehensible.

It's so very easy to get caught up in this fake-spiritual-persona about yourself.
To subconsciously think that we are doing pretty good in our spirituality.
Give ourselves pats on the back when we give wisdom to someone.
Be proud of ourselves for spending more time in the Word this week than your best friend.

You get the picture, it's too easy to loose sight of the purpose for the Cross. 




That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! 


For me, today was the day.
Today I realized how unbelievably wretched I am. How wretched we all really are.
How very little I know in regards to life itself.
How my time in the Word is pointless if I put myself on the same pedestal as Christ.

I mean, come on, He's Christ!


I was reading through Romans 7 and Paul could not have put my heart in more accurate words:

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner to the law of sin. What a wretched man I am!"

What I want to do, I don't do.
All I am is a filthy sinner.

But Praise God this chapter continues. Praise God we are more.

"Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

No matter how horrible of people we are, there's a redeemer.
There's a Healer.
A Perfecter.
A robe of Righteousness.
A Savior.

Because, and only because, of the blood of Christ, there is no condemnation for those in Jesus. 

There is no condemnation! 


What a savior to be tortured after living a miraculous, perfect life just for us?
He thought about you on the cross.
He thought about me.

We are no longer dead to sin. We are alive in Christ.

We are free!






Is that an incredible God or what?!





Romans 8, the light at the end of every tunnel.

Obsession.

Thomas Road's Middle School and High School's Ministries went on their winter retreat this past weekend, and fortunately I got to join in as a leader for the greatest group of girls. It really was an incredible weekend, all around. 

The focus was on Obsession. We as a culture are so obsessed with everything. We are obsessive over Facebook, phones, sleep, food, a show, etc. When in reality, where our obsession lies is so far from where it needs to be. 
This whole idea was really convicting to me.

I am obsessed over things that are worthless. I spend my time with things that are of absolutely no value. 

On Friday night of camp the speaker was simply setting us up for the rest of the weekend. He was getting us to marvel at the cross and the beauty of Christ. He led us to Philippians 2. This is a fairly popular passage of scripture that most people have heard before. But, with my obsessions in mind, it literally rocked my whole world. 

I was trying to unpack in during the weekend; but of course, with a bunch of middle schoolers running wild it was rather difficult. :)

This past week, however, I've been really meditating on it. I've had time to really absorb the absolutely beauty in it. 

"Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God 

something to be used to his own advantage; 

rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, 

being made in human likeness. 

And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death —

even death on a cross! 

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name 

that is above every name,  that at the name of Jesus

every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 

and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father." 

That is where obsession needs to lie. 

Every last knee will bow and tongue confess that Christ is the Lord. 

When Jesus came to earth, He had the power and the authority to make every last knee bow and tongue confess.. but thankfully, He is a Jesus of extraordinary grace. However, when He returns again? Every knee will bow. We are running out of time to tell people. This is where the urgency in the Gospel lies: we do not have time to be silent about this.

He is returning again.
And every last mortal human in heaven, on the earth or spending an eternity in hell will confess Christ is the Lord.
He will have justice. 

That's not something we can afford to take lightly. 

This is obsession.
He is the only one worthy of our obsession because, as He so very clearly displayed for us, He is completely obsessed with us. 

Who in the world are we to accept His obsession, yet can't even bring ourselves to return it at the least?

Be obsessed with this Jesus. 

Because you will confess, by the power of Jesus, that HE is the Lord. 

I'm obsessed.
Thomas Road, is obsessed.

Are you?