What. A. Year.

This past year hasn't been what I had anticipated life after college to be - though, I'm confident I'm not the first person to say that. I'm not sure I had originally expected, truthfully, but it was probably something to do with profound Spiritual movement (both personally and visually), a plethora of new friendships, excelling in adulthood or something like that. Granted, all three of those things have come to pass in some form or another (except for excelling in adulthood, I'm still about 2 steps behind I think) but they haven't been as satisfying as I expected them to. Which is the whole point of the words I'm about to say. I am indebted to Jesus for a number of reasons (the main one being, of course, the fact that he granted life to my dead and dry bones) but also because, unknown to us, He gently and patiently redirects our steps. I don't even notice that He's doing it (typical) until I'm 20 steps ahead from where I began landing at a different destination than I had originally set out for. That is one of my favorite things about how He chooses to work - He sometimes does things so subtly that I wonder what He is doing until, well, it's very obvious. I'm hoping someone else is picking up what I'm laying down. For lack of any better explanation, that is what this last year has been and I'm starting to look down at where my feet are, look up again, and say, "I don't think I intended on being here." To which Jesus says, "I mean, I know that." I anticipated this year looking much different and being much more profound than it has been. However, through the one-step-at-a-time journey I've been on (still on) to only God knows where (in all seriousness), I've learned a few simple Truths that have been invaluable. I think I often envision Spiritual maturity as greater knowledge and understanding of complicated Truth's (and, to an extent, I think it may be) but this past year has allowed me to see that Spiritual maturity is a deeper knowledge and understanding of the most simple Truth's. 

Here's a few of the things that He has began to show me as I look up from where I'm standing. I hope they breathe Life upon your weary soul and mind as they have done for me. I hope they draw you into the easy burden and light yoke that is the person and work of Jesus. I don't know if these will mean anything to you, truthfully, but I do know that the Holy Spirit nudges for a threefold purpose and nothing less: my good, His glory, and our neighbors benefit. This is definitely for my good, my prayer is that He is receiving the upmost glory and I trust this fulfills it's purpose by benefiting you, my neighbor. That is how the the Holy Spirit works and I love that. Anyways, here's a few things I've learned: 

1. Conviction is good and right. For so long I strayed from the feeling of conviction because that meant that I was failing at something that I 'should' be succeeding in. Well, quite frankly, life with no conviction either means that you are perfect as the Son of God was perfect or that you are simply outweighing your good to bad - neither of which are Truth from the Gospel. Conviction is good. Welcome it. Conviction is the gentle hand of God pushing us a little bit closer to the foot of the Cross and echoing the voice of Jesus saying, "It is finished." I never want to miss out on Him telling me, "Nerissa, the work is done. Rejoice in my doing." Light is life (ref. John 1). Light leads to exposure and exposure to conviction. I long to learn how to love that light and embrace the exposure. 
2. It's by the grace of God. You are terrible at "up-keep." You are terrible. You can't do it. It is by the grace of God that you recieve new revelations about the person of Jesus, that you receive conviction from the Spirit of God, and that you can see Light in the midst of utter darkness. Not your upkeep. Grace is what unveiled your eyes to the Cross and only by His grace do they stay open. Let your arms rest - don't keep holding your eyes open. He may even open them wider when you let go.
3. There is purpose in where you are. There is Divine reason for where you find yourself. "Don't say, 'Why were the former days better than these?' since it is not wise of you to ask this." Eccl. 7:10. Be where you are. God is more sovereign than your decision to move here or there. His plans are far better than the plans you've mustered up yourself. He doesn't subtly move your feet only to bring you to a destination that neither of you anticipated. He knows your every last step and there is Divine purpose in each one. Dive into where you are. Look up and see what masterpiece He is drawing. 
4. Claim what is already True. Should we wait to walk in what is True until we "feel" it - God, help us - we'll waste every second of life on this earth and never once claim what is True. By the grace of God, you've been given the knowledge and understanding you've been given - walk as though you actually believe it is True. There is unbelievable freedom when we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, "There are new mercies today, yesterday no longer exists. Jesus has told me that I am His, I am free, I am alive, I have a home waiting for me in Glory, I do not belong to the enemy, the Holy Spirit dwells within me and the power of the resurrection is mine to claim." The enemy never has to move further than our minds so long as we spend every day of our life in the turmoil of self. Claim what is true about the person of Jesus and about who you are in light of the Cross. 
5. Find joy in the small things. We aren't going to be wholly satisfied on this side of Glory so let go of the pressure you have placed on your work, your relationships, your town, your hobbies, etc. to live up to that expectation. They are meant to be but a shadow of the satisfaction to come. That free's you up to enjoy the very best things about them. Love them. Allow them to give you life. Yet, they aren't going to fully satisfy. There's only One who will fully satisfy and that's been promised to us.

I hope one of those encourages you. Life is hard, my friend. Sometimes all it takes to be reminded that God is good and He does good is to simply lift our eyes up. Look around. Walk in what you already know to be True, await eternal glory to come, and enjoy all that God has put in front of your eyes. Be planted, day by day, where your feet have led you and rest in the Grace of God. 

Thanks for walking faithfully. You encourage me to keep moving forward. Here's to the adventure's that come living in the shadow of the King. 

"He was with God in the beginning. All things were created through him, and apart fro Him not one thing was created that has been created. life was in Him, and that life was the light f men. That light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it." John 1:4, 5. 

Journey Towards J O Y

Happiness and joy. Joy and happiness. I feel like, in my experience within the Christian culture, these two terms get tossed around flippantly without there ever being a real clear understanding as to what they actually mean. 

“Joy is not the same as happiness.”

“You can be happy and have no joy.” 

“Joy is about God and happiness isn’t.” 

That is what’s spoken from one Christian to the next, from the Christian to the pagan (God help us) and from the pulpit to the pew. Happiness and joy are vastly different. I have learned that. I am experiencing that. Now, I think I am believing that. I believe wholeheartedly that what I have been learning can breathe air, freedom, and Life on every last weary soul that is tired of putting on the face of happiness, day in and day out, due to a false view of how joy is woven into the Gospel. Here’s a glimpse of my journey.

These last several months in my own life have been…. hard (I contemplated a stronger word). But, just hard. It has been full of new things, grieving the absence of many things, disappointments in all things, etc. You get it. Hard. Recently, I sat down and wrote out a bunch of “I feel” statements (for someone who doesn't feel much, that was more difficult than you would imagine!) in hopes that it would help me navigate this season a little bit. Fear, anxiety, stuck, exhausted, annoyed, sad, alone, hopeful, and weary were but just a handful. However, it wasn’t until my pen hit the page and wrote one particular phrase that completely rocked my world. 

“Lord, will there be relief?” 

These words shook me to my core and shocked me all at once. Here is why: “Will there be relief?” Who am I to ask God - the one who suffered inhumane torture, descended into hell, and then rose again for the sake of those who dug His grave in the first place - if I will ever feel a little bit of relief in this seemingly “hard” season that I find myself in? It broke my heart that I would even ask. “Get it together, Nerissa. In the grand scheme, you’re okay. You’re fine. Why are you still feeling sad?” These are the things that immediately I started to tell myself. Why? Because this is what we're told. It’s shouted from the rooftops. This is the norm. “I’m good!” or “Don't you love Jesus? What do you have to be sad about?” or “At least you have __________.” These words only breed death in the life of an already weary soul and, yet, these are the very words we’ve let define what joy and happiness are to look like.

See, those words condemn and are straight from the mouth of the enemy. Jesus, however, meets us with unbelievable grace and empathy. I asked, "Lord, will there be relief?" The enemy immediately met me with condemnation but Jesus with grace upon grace; for, He is not a King that cannot empathize with the pain of His people. I think we have gotten far too uncomfortable with sadness and have coped by creating a false standard of happiness that is only preventing us from breathing in grace. It prevents us from experiencing incredible intimacy with our Jesus who silences the enemy and says, "I know, I have been there. Look at Me." Jesus answers with J O Y. I.e., Himself.

For joy to flourish, pain must be acknowledged.

For happiness to win, pain must be ignored.

Happiness condemns and says, “You don’t need relief. You are fine.” 

Joy empathizes and beckons saying, “Not my will, but yours.”

Listen, when Jesus was in the garden before He was captured, He cried out to the Father three different times to let the cup pass from Him. He wanted relief. But, it was for the joy set before Him that He was able to mutter the words, “Not my will, but yours.” Are you following? Joy didn’t remove the desire for relief. Joy didn’t put Him into a 'good mood’. My word, he was sweating blood. Joy didn’t save Him from the grave. Joy simply gave a heavenly purpose and a heavenly perspective to a really terrible, painful, awful earthly experience. That is the difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness seeks to cover up and change the feelings that oppose it. Happiness condemns. 

Joy, on the other hand, simply seeks to see through the pain and into a more glorious light.
Happiness pleases the people.
Joy pleases the King. 

One the Pastor’s I get the honor of sitting under in Houston recently said regarding these two words: “Joy is, more often than not, marked by pain.” For, it’s in the hard circumstances that we are seeking relief. We’re seeking the ability to see through the pain and into the most glorious of reliefs - the God of all comfort.

How does this come full circle? My season is hard. It is. No, it’s not as bad as it could be and there have been unbelievably wonderful moments. But, it hasn’t been easy either. So long as I am taking happiness over joy, I will simply seek to mask the pain for the sake of entertaining, “Why do you need relief? You are fine.” But Jesus, our generous and gracious Jesus, says, “No, do what I did. The circumstance may not change, but look here. Be in pain, but look here. Be sad, but look here. Be lonely, but look here. Be weary, but look here. I am JOY.”

What if joy was ours for the taking through the pain?
What if we began to admit, acknowledge, and walk through genuine pain?

I have to believe we'd be met with abundant life and breathtaking intimacy with our King.

Ironically (or, not at all) I’ve been making my way through 2 Corinthians which is, essentially, a book about the incredibly painful life of Paul and the abundant comfort that meets him through Jesus. After I finished this whole process of writing down my “I feel ____” statements, had my socks completely knocked off by the Truth I just told you, and had a really wonderful cry (amen?) I opened up to 2 Corinthians and these words jumped off that page and fueled the words now on this one: “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” My friends, hear these words - be reconciled. I plead with you. Don’t simply hide and cover; rather, walk through and walk toward. May we be a people who aren’t afraid of taking pain into the presence of God, but believe with every fiber of our being in the grace that flowed from the Cross. May we be a people that choose to walk through the muck and into the presence of God to be reconciled for the joy set before us rather than putting on our daily “happy” hat only to pretend the pain isn't real. Be reconciled to God. Only in His presence does pain, not disappear, but become the stepping stones to JOY - that is, Jesus Himself.

It’s okay to not be okay, but Jesus loves us far to much to keep us there. Lets take our sadness to Him and stop ignoring it.

Joy and happiness are vastly different. Might God grant grace in our daily pursuit to walk in joy rather than happiness and may God grant courage to the Church to flea from the bonds of empty happiness and run toward everlasting joy. 

"To live IS Christ"

I have learned two things since being in a new season of life. Two things I feel like will quite literally change the trajectory of my life. Two things that I can’t help but ponder why God chose now to unveil my eyes to them; for, they are tools for the path of abundant life. The first I must just get over with for it is the second that is of upmost importance. First, if you have something to say that will grant life and encourage, by all means, say it. Do not stay silent. Okay, that's the first. The second is the cry of my heart - may Jesus write these words upon the tablet of your heart that we may be a people with hearts, eyes, and ears set upon eternity. 

Here it is: God’s presence is the promise. That’s it. You may be thinking (probably thinking), “Gosh, I was waiting for a gold nugget and you just throw me what I’ve known forever.” No, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean, His is presence IS the promise. Let me explain. 

The Cross of Christ means incredible things for us, you know. But most importantly, the Cross means that the curse that is upon all of earth is no longer on us. The curse has been lifted from us and placed on Jesus at Calvary. This is gold, I hope you hear this. The curse that sits upon this earth, we are free from. Let me explain a couple of the most prominent. The curse of money - of needing more, the best, the newest, the fastest, the coolest - that curse has been lifted for us. We are no longer bound to money. We are free to turn our backs on money. The curse of sex, as the world has tainted it - the pressure, the demand, the consumerism - that curse has been lifted for us. We are no longer bound to approach sex as the world does. We are free to turn our backs on what the world has made of sex. The curse of our self-image - the never ending need to be skinnier, work out harder, eat healthier (and, less) - that curse has been lifted for us. We are no longer bound to consider ourselves "beautiful" by what the world considers beautiful. We are free to turn our backs to the culture that lives as a photoshopped image. 

What am I even saying? 

I’m saying that His presence is the promise. The curse no longer applies to us. We know the ultimate answer to all of life, because we know that His presence is the promise. If His presence is the promise, than all that the world considers worthy is not the promise. To live is Christ; but if that is the case, to live is NOT the world. Do you understand? The world around us, the people who seek money, power, fame, status - those are the people who are still bound to the curse of this world. They are not free, yet, to turn their back on it. For if they turned their back on the world, where would they be facing? Because of that, they are still searching for an answer that can only be found in His presence. For His presence is the promise. So, they go to the gym because they need to see results or else it's not enough; they work extra hours because they aren’t making as much money as their neighbor, and that's not enough; they get involved in the student ministry and the children’s ministry, because they figure that ought to do it, and, still, that isn't enough. They are missing it all because the curse still applies to them because all they know to be true is what the world holds in value. They have an inability to turn their back on the world because they have no other source of life to turn towards. So, i’ll say it again - His presence is the promise. The curse has been lifted from us. What unbelievable grace! We can turn our back on what this world consider’s life giving, and say, “It is well with my soul,” because we know that life is only found in Christ. His presence. That is the promise. No longer must we live in a rushed, frustrating, and futile search for that one thing which will grant life and satisfies us. That curse has been lifted. His presence is the promise. Not only so, but His presence is good. The ultimate good. His presence is life. The only life. 

As a result, let us rest.

I pray that these words are engraved upon our hearts. I pray that they are as sweet to you as they have been so sweet to me in this season. This world has nothing that will satisfy us. Oh, that we would be a people that willfully turn our backs on what this world considers worthy as we sing, "It is well with me," for I am turning from earth, and towards eternity. To live IS christ. To live is His presence. In that case, to live is not this world. If only I were able to plead your cause and to write this upon your heart that you may know the sweetness and the freedom of this truth. But, alas, may God's Spirit do for you only what His spirit can do. 

And then, my friend, let us rest and let us walk step by step on the narrow road. 

For our battle has been won. 

His presence is the promise.

adventure, the narrow road, & life abundant

"You call me out beyond the shore into the waves. 

No fear can hinder now the promises You made." 

My memory of this initial moment is so vivid I can still hear the echoing voices around me, I can see the people who are now some of my dearest friends, though hardly knew then, and recall the desperate plea of my own heart. During my final RA training at Liberty University, during the fall of 2014, this was the song to be sung and these are the very words that grabbed hold of the strings of my heart and pulled with all it's might. It might have been because it was my last year doing what I loved, where I loved, and doing it with the people I loved. It might have been because I was, at that time, circumstantially isolated in a whole lot of unknown details. It might have been that, while I was still geographically near my very best of friends, I was moving to a part of the campus that was more out of touch with the rest of campus (or, if you know where I'm talking about, the world #annexlife). Truthfully, I think it was a little bit of all of those things clashing together to send a wave of holy emotion and divine desperation into my weak and vulnerable heart. But, I think there was more to it. 

Fast forward nearly a full 365 days and I am sitting outside of a Starbucks in good ole' Knoxville, Tennessee only four days out from making the biggest move of my life yet (granted, I don't have a whole lot of life to weigh this with) to Houston, Texas. Cue this song and cue all the very same thoughts, emotions, feelings, and pleas that I found myself at the doorstep of last fall. The same as with the memory from RA training, there are many different tangible reasons as to why these simple lyrics would resonate so swiftly and deeply with the innermost part of me. However, this time was different because I had unknowingly discovered the root. 

The reason that the unknown causes an abrupt physiological response. 

The reason that people will forsake all for the sake of security. 

The reason that change causes our heart to beat substantially louder and faster than before. 

The reason that the best stories are filled with spontaneity, romance, adventure and risk. 

The reason that comfort is the upmost pursuit of (American) people.

The root is this: that is how God intended for us to live. Simple, right? 

Here is all I'm saying, what if adventure, intimacy, risk, unknown seasons, etc. are found along the narrow road? The road that leads to life abundant. The road where it's citizens are "foreign" and "strangers" to that which is the expected cycle of the visible world? What if the Scripture means literally what it says when we are given the direction to walk by faith and not by sight? Faith: "Complete trust or confidence in someone or something." 

See, I suspect (because, I am apart of it) that the culture we find ourselves in today is missing out on communion with Jesus and intimacy with the Father and abundant life (literal abundant life, not just some fantasy talked about amongst Christian circles that never expect to actually obtain this life) because we have fallen into the devil shaped trap of safety. My friends, is not safety but an illusion? 

David Platt says, brilliantly, as he writes the "forward" for John Piper,

"We, too, can retreat into a wilderness of wasted opportunity. We can rest content in casual, convenient, cozy, comfortable Christian lives as we cling to the safety and security this world offers. We can coast through a cultural landscape marked by materialism, characterized by consumerism, and engulfed in individualism. We can assent to the spirit of this age and choose to spend our lives seeking worldly pleasures, acquiring worldly possessions, and pursuing worldly ambitions—all under the banner of cultural Christianity. Or we can decide that Jesus is worth more than this." (Risk is Right)

What if God truly is after His glory through our abundant Joy. That is the promise. 

My fear is that we miss out on opportunities to risk our life for the sake of the Kingdom of God out of a deep rooted fear of our own safety. That is a tragedy. For if we could be guaranteed safety, than we no longer need to wait eagerly for the coming Kingdom, right? If we could be guaranteed safety, than would we not be the ones who have written out the chapters of our life being sure we keep the plot decently calm in order to reach the end of our days escaping all harm? It's a tragedy so easy to become victim to. 

My absolute favorite quote from the spectacular series, The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis is found in the first book when it is said of Aslan, the King, "Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King." (The Lion, the Which, and the Wardrobe) Clinging to Jesus is not safe. The Narrow Road is not safe. But, He is good. Is that not sufficient?

So, whats the point? You've gotten off track with the beginning lyrics. Right - hear me now. 

"You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.

No fear can hinder now the promises You made." 

The root reason these lyrics so abruptly, yet subtly, captivated me last fall and more recently sitting outside of Starbucks is because God, the gracious and unbelievably passionate Father to us He is, has been trying to communicate something with me. He's telling me, "Nerissa, this is the brink of life abundant! This IS the Narrow Road! You're made for this." 

Last fall when these lyrics first came off of my mouth and most recently, the situation has been the same: I'm entering into an unknown season full of unknown people with unknown circumstances that are going to affect me and change me in many unknown ways. But, but, but, Jesus, serving as the only constant, is the same and all unknowns fade in this truth.

You guys, are you hearing me? This is the absolute best! The Father of all has invited us to participate in an epic adventure and story so far beyond what our eyes can see and our minds can comprehend. That is why we sing songs like this. That is why we sing songs (like, every day) that say, "Take me deeper than my feet will ever wonder." That is why grand adventures make us excited. That is why the possibility of experiencing the unknown future with a spouse makes us impatient. That is why, prior to a great season of change and unknown, these songs grapple with our heart. 

This is what we are made for. 

Could you imagine what the Churches would start to resemble if we began to take this call towards an epic adventure and life abundant seriously and as something to truly be experienced? I don't know - it might actually start to look like the Church in Acts where they would literally say, "Day by day," because they were risking it all, not knowing what the next day would hold. The Christian life is not that which is filled with academic knowledge of God's faithfulness and passion for us but a daily active walk along the Narrow Road.

What if I work a mundane job sitting in an office all day? 

What if I'm going to be single forever and never to experience that adventure? 

What if I don't want to move away from where I am? 

That's not the point - those questions reflect a story that is still about us. The point is that God has invited us to join HIS story that is so far beyond the present status of our lives. Therefore, it transcends our work environment and our relational status as we begin to be people of the unseen and the invisible joining our Father in a daily epic. 

I challenge you, and myself. 

It is frightening. The year after I plead those words at RA training was filled with the longest days, forced questions revealing the depths of my depravity, hurt, pain, loneliness, etc. It was hard. But, it was filled with the sweetest relationships I have ever known, experiencing Gods presence in ways I thought was inactive on earth, and, day by day, having my eyes unveiled to more of the Greater Story. As I look forward to this next season in Houston, speaking these words just as desperately as last Fall, I know what lies ahead will be difficult (and, HOT) but I know this is what I'm made for.  

I am made to jump. To risk. To dive. To go. I'm made to walk by faith. So are you. 

A dear friend who walked with me closely during this last year wrote to me when I was in my mere last days at Liberty saying something so simple, yet unbelievably profound: "God fully equipped you and was faithful during this last season, and He will do the same in the next." That is absolutely true. May our fear of the unknown and fear of risk be subsided at the recalling of His faithfulness during generations past and the present belief in Him. He's never failed and He won't now. 

Join me in praying? Join me in repenting over our debilitating fear. Join me in praying for our feet to walk away from the shores and into the waves day by day by day by day. Join me in praying that we become people who are captivated by the unseen in the midst of the seen. If there is anything I have learned, it begins on our knees. This isn't a "buckle up the boot straps and get up!" kind of a call. This is a call requiring us to  get on the ground and plead with Jesus as they did in the Scripture, "I believe! Help my unbelief!"

Don't hear me wrong. I'm not glorifying adventure over Jesus. What I am saying, is that the only life Jesus wholly offers and provides is life that is filled with adventure. It's an epic story. Let us be in tune with the Story. For, it is our Love story after all. 

To God be the glory and until Kingdom come. 

A couple different books I've read recently have awakened me even more to these realities that I 120% recommend: The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge and Waking the Dead: the Glory of a Heart Fully Alive by John Eldredge, also. Read them! 

as L O R D

I have been challenged, comforted, and graciously led to repentance by the Father recently. All because of these words: Jesus is Lord. 'Jesus is Lord' is a mistaken and abused set of words that is thrown around by those who have been called by Christ and those who have not, for generations past. May it be a social norm, an expected and mutual agreement, or simply a religious phrase that seems to foundation to unite people from all walks- i’m not sure. I’m equally unsure as to how these words, innately being unmeasurable in weight and provoking in response, have become words that are just as meaningless as the next phrase or social fad. There is a grand misinterpretation and misunderstanding of these words. 

He is Lord of my life. 

He is Lord of my marriage. 

He is Lord of all. 

What does that mean, exactly? For me, it was in an ignorant understanding and foggy view as to what the term “Lord” meant that caused my frustrations. The Scripture blatantly unveils the curtains to reveal the mystery and secret of “Lord” should we choose to see, listen, and believe.

Lord (noun) - "someone or something having power, authority, or influence; a master or ruler.” 

In the most simplistic terms, ‘Lord’ is a person or object with power. Not a minimal amount, but a ‘master or ruler’ implying full power, and full authority. That seems fairly obvious. I think we can all come to a mutual understanding that Jesus as Lord does, in fact, mean He is the Ruler and Master- the One with all authority, all power. 

However, this seeming simplicity is where I was faced with my conflict. By definition and intellectual ability, I understand what Lord means; I believe that all people do, regardless of their call of Christ or religious preference (we’ve become a very intellectually aware, yet heart-dead society). I wasn’t okay with the simple intellectual understanding; rather, I wanted to understand what the Father intended by referring to His Son as the Lord. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what these words truly meant to someone empowered by the Holy Spirit and someone who is hidden in Christ. Surely, it has to provoke a response of greater weight to those who are called by Christ than it does for the average person with a “Jesus is Lord” bumper sticker (not that those are wrong per-say, just kind of. Ha! Joke).  

The Scripture, being fully holistic in it’s declarations and intentions loudly shouts and unveils the definition.  

I’m going to look specifically at three different stories that have provoked my heart these last several days. 

The first is from Luke 6, when the Scripture actually says, “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath” (v. 5). A few verses before this the Pharisee’s were challenging Jesus as His disciples “plucked and ate some heads of grain” (v. 1). The Pharisee’s (the religious “elite”) said, “What are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?” (v. 2). Jesus was plainly making evident that there are no longer lawful and/or unlawful religious rules to abide by, He is now the one to whom we submit. Rather than a religious law, there is a Christ. Jesus replaces the law. We submit to Jesus on the Sabbath and not preconceived laws and regulations. He is the Lord. 

The second story is found in Luke 7, beginning in verse 36. Jesus has been invited by a pharisee to eat dinner with him in his home. While in the Pharisee’s home, there was a “woman of the city, who was a sinner” (v. 37) who, after learning Jesus was in the home, went in with her most treasured perfume. The Scripture says this: “…standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment” (v. 38). This woman was a known sinner in the city, who has entered into the house of a religious elite in order to fall before Jesus. This breaks the normality and customs that were considered appropriate for this time. The woman saw Christ as the Lord. She was willing to go against the normality of culture and further taint her reputation to man. He provoked a contrite stature to the lowly. He is the Lord. 

The last story is found in Luke 8, starting in verse 40. The Scripture says this: “There came a man named Jarius, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus’ feet, he implored him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter… and she was dying” (v. 40-42). The ruler of a synagogue was a culturally and religiously elite man. He was a public figure and was the enforcer of the religious customs. This ruler of the synagogue did not save his face as he fell before Jesus amongst the crowd of people, as it says in verse 40. He was willing to make a “fool” of himself for the sake of falling before Christ. 

These three stories are a dusting amongst all Scripture portraying the Lord as such. Jesus, when fully encountered, calls not to a higher standard of living or a more obvious external discipline towards living a religious life. Rather, Christ calls us out of the bondage religion drowns us in. Jesus calls His followers to look at the way of the crowd and the culture, and to walk the other way. To look foolish. (Shouldn’t abiding by the Words of Scripture as the world surrounding us abides in darkness seem slightly foolish?)

To obey HIs commands, not the cultural norms. 

To pursue Him, though sociological standing forbids. 

To fall before Him, regardless of your reputation's risks.  

He is the Lord. This has never resounded more true in my heart. The Holy Spirit is slowly and gently revealing story after story that displays Jesus as the Lord. My flesh is prone to law; but I can't help but long for more. It's a beautiful abandonment.

The call of Christ free’s us to submit to Him alone as the Lord. 

The call of Christ free’s us from the bondage of “good” and allows us to submit to Him as the abolisher of the law.

Not your religious effort. 

Not your “time in the Word.” 

Not your convictions or purity. 

Not your involvement in the Church or frequency behind the pew.

We’re free to submit to Christ alone. He is the Lord. What grace!

Oh, that we would become a people who begin to believe in freedom. That we would become a people who joyfully submit to Christ alone as Lord amidst a world and religious culture that begs us to do otherwise. 

Read for yourself. 

Open the Scripture. 

May you be provoked to  w o n d e r. 

It's a process, not coming to completion until full glorification, not easily grasped. It's a process that is so countercultural, it seems nearly impossible. But, I am daily reminded to pursue comfort in the God that calls me to rest in His promises alone. In moments of clarity, it's divinely freeing. In moment's of fogginess, my faith in those promises are forced to expound. My journey towards submission to Christ as the Lord continues. I pray that alongside of me, yours does too.   

Psalm 8:4

"What is man that You thought of them, & the son of man that You care for him?" | Ps. 8:4

Who am I that I should be pursued by Yahweh? This God, who brushes the trees with a sweet, but triumphed blow of the wind. This God, who paints the leaves- each one a new color. This God, who hurries the clouds as the warmth of the sun seeps through the gray masses. Who am I that He should think of me? I am but dust on the earth and sand that is easily deceived into thinking that if I work well enough,  I can build a castle that will not fall or crash in the presence of the the washing waves upon the sea shore. I am convinced, day after day, into thinking that the temporal is to be held at the highest value. Oh, who am I that He should think of me? That He cares for me? Though I was formed from dust, and to dust I shall return, El Roi, the God who see's me, has unveiled my eyes to see glimpses of the eternal in the temporal and has granted me a mind that cannot accept blindly that the wind which is currently blowing through my hair, that the leaves which have fallen beneath my feet, and that the sound of the trees which is more overbearing than the sound of my voice has come from a being no greater than myself. Rather, I am convinced that the Divine has manifested Himself into flesh similar to mine so that I am enabled to sit upon this bench and dwell upon that which cannot be attained or comprehended in the flesh apart from a Holy Providence. I am convinced that because of the bloody death paid by this Divine Being, I can sit as a shell containing the Most High, who is to be credited for these thoughts with the imprints of the Holy Ghost and are far too lofty for the human to cultivate on his own. 

I think I know. Like a child recognizing her fathers voice for the first time, I think I know what the sound of His presence may sound like. It's the sound of the trees as the wind blows back and forth. It's the sound of the ocean, when you can no longer hear the world and all you can dwell upon is the vastness of the waters. It's the noise that drowns out all else and provides mere mortals with a sense of immortality. It is these very sounds that when heard by even the deafest ears, one can no longer hear anything else. Who are we that You think of us? 

I am brought to utter worship and praise at the mystery of a God I am assured of; yet, am still viewing through foggy eyes until the day my faith becomes my sight. Who are we that He cares for us? Jesus, our song everlasting. 

Subjected to v a n i t y

Lately, I have been excessively discontent. I have been seeking & longing & believing for a life much more abundant than the one I currently seem to posess.

I've been living in this - "We ourselves, who have the first firsts of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." (Rom. 8: 23)

I am groaning. I am burdened. I am eagerly waiting for more.

If any of this resonates with you- please, stay with me.

As a Christian, I know this is the natural & unavoidable way of life. Scripture presents this inward groaning for complete redemption on multiple occasions. I am aware that this is "normal." However, I have a really hard time being okay with just that. That it's normal.

How do I handle it? How am I supposed to respond to the burdens & the groaning? If Christ is my abundant life, then how come I don't often feel like I truly am walking in abundance? I can't help but present the Throne room with these questions. Granted, understand my heart, the Creator of light, the sustainer of breath, & the giver of gravity has no requirement to 'answer' my incompetant questions. However, we have been given the greatest tool & weapon to fighting in battle each moment: the Holy Scriptures. This is where He answered me. Praise be to God.

The Scripture that has brought all things into light begin with this: "For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from it's bondage to corruption." (vs. 19 - 21)

We wait with eager longing. Yet, we are subjected to vanity. Why? So that the Creator can set us free.

This may seem like the answer that fails to answer. But, friend, hear me.

We are living in a world that is not yet glorified; but rather, still subjected to futility.
The only constant response seen throughout Scripture to this weary world is long-suffering in hope.

The response Paul gives to his inward groaning & expectation is found in the hope that these mortal, flesh driven bodies will be redeemed by the giver of Life. He responds to verse's 19 & 20 with this: "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

We hope. We have patience. And we wait.
Here is why this brings great comfort.

The Holy Scripture's tell us that the response to our groaning is to be patient & hope. It's that simple.

We live in a busy, active, "do" culture - inside the church, & outside. We have been raised & nurtured to believe that there is a remedy for all discontentment & all longing in Christ Jesus, through the Gospel. Now, hear me- there is. Because Jesus is the only remedy for Life. Apart from Him, we have no hope. But on this side of glory, in a world subjected to vanity, we will not know complete satisfaction in Him. We can't know.

We will groan. We will be burdened. We will eagerly long for final redemption into His Kingdom.
The remedy is that there is no remedy.

And that, my friends, is the most liberating answer I could have ever sought from our gracious God.
The answer that says, "No, no, no, my child. There is nothing for you to do & there is nothing that you are lacking. You have been covered by the Son of God's garment. Now, just wait. Be patience & wait for this hope that will be an eternity of reward."

Do you hear the liberation the Gospel freely offers?

I watched a short video of Pastor Tullian Tchividjian recently & the sweet words of the Spirit captivated my when he said this line: "I wish I could say that Christ fully satisfies me. But I can't. What I can say, is that Christ fully satisfied God." (Hear more by watching this short video. It will be well worth your time: http://www.pastortullian.com/2014/06/10/baptists-bulletins-and-bedtime/)

There is no Bible reading plan we can participate in. No sin we can confess. No community we can be apart of that will grant us the contentment on this side of Heaven that doesn't continually long.

We will always long for where our heart is destined. For the Christian, that is the presence of God.

Be one of long-suffering & be one of hope.
We hope for what we cannot see. Now, we cannot see the end to our longing. It is that we hope for.

It is the encounter with the living, resurrected King who was, & is, & is to come which we hope for.
It is the removal from a world that is subjected to vanity & death which we long for.
It is the incomparable voice of the King that says, "Well done, my good & faithful servant," which we are to eagerly hope for until we have been taken from this dying world.

How do we respond to the groaning? We hope.
Do not let the enemy put an expectation of fulfillment in your life. It is true Jesus Christ alone is all satisfying. All things under the sun, the Preacher in Ecclesiastes says, is vanity except the presence of God. However, as long as we live in the tension of death & life, we will not & cannot be fully satisfied until we are fully glorified.

Rest easy, friend. Let God be satisfied by Christ alone.
Hope.